Counting Omer 5780, Day 24

Tiferet ShebeNetzakh

Elevated Beauty, Balance, Integration, the Unexpected, Miracles, and Order, intersecting Khesed and Gevurah within Eternity, Forever, Splendor, Perpetuity, Endurance, Long-Lasting, and Spiritual Victory.

Quality: Gift of Wading Through Loss, Grief

There is a moment that always surprises me.

It can happen at any time I am in a moment of

Sheer joy

In moments dizzy with unassisted drunkenness

My physical body and

Spiritual body merge and

I am boundless as I move with the

Incremental tide of time soaking in

sight

aroma

sound

sensation

savory note!

Ecstatic exquisite elatedness can

Unexpectedly open a window or door to

Sadness or sorrow

I wanna call my Dad or

I wanna call my Mom or

another no longer with me on this plain

I instantaneously understand the lesson of a disagreement forgotten or

I am simply able to gaze unflinchingly at the fullness of life

holding the paradox of

my joy and my sadness or grief

my joy and the grief of others

now a marble cake mix

And

I swaddle all with my joyous elation for

All is bitter!

All is sweet!

All is Divine!

There is a moment that always surprises me.

It can happen at any time I am in a moment of

Surrender to the quarrel in my mind

Accepting what is so

Injustice

Sadness

Disappointment

New or old pain making itself known

In whatever fashion required

Water

No water

Screaming

Silence

Longing.

(I no longer go to numbness)

It

Moves and courses through me and

Ecstatic profound sadness can

Unexpectedly open a window or door to a

Spark of joy

My head lying in Aunt Edna’s lap

The bad joke or pun of someone I love – totally appropriate for the moment

The unmistakable aroma of my favorite comfort foods

The voice of the police officer saying “Are you lost, little girl?” to my four-year old self because I was lost…

I am simply able to gaze unflinchingly at the fullness of life

holding the paradox of

my sadness or grief and my joy

my grief and the joy of others

now a marble cake mix

And

I swaddle all with lovingkindness for

All is bitter!

All is sweet!

All is Divine!

There is a moment that always surprises me, yet

I create room for the door or window to open

Every time I say Kaddish.*

I stand before The Holy One, Blessed be The One,

Chanting

Honey coated words of praise!

My mouth watering with each syllable that exits my lips

Each meridian of my body opens and

I tremble as

my hands open

my heart opens

my spirit body merges with The One

And

All flows through

All the ecstatic goodness

All the ecstatic sadness

Weave and swirl

Like a baked marbled cake

And

I am bound to the profundity of totality

Chanting

Rooted love of the

Holy One, Blessed be The One

Holding

The bittersweet Divine paradox of

Living

Mind Fully Engaged.

Blessings!

Sabrina


*an ancient praise poem said by Jewish mourners.

© Sabrina Sojourner 2020

SLS

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