Counting Omer 5780, Day 34
Foundation, Establishment, Setting The Foundation, Fundamental; Foundation upon which the Divine One Created the Universe within Exquisite Beauty, Splendor, Glory, Vigor, Magnificence, and Pomp.
Quality: Rooted in the Compassionate and Gracious Source of Life
When life becomes unexpectedly uncertain, I fall. Figuratively to the ground. Spiritually, it’s a spiral whose spinning is determined by how much I struggle against, argue with, what is occurring.
...memories of being in Aunt Edna’s kitchen, standing on a foot stool and stirring something that I know will be delicious…
It is only in recent years that I have learned that the Source of Life Graciously and Compassionately catches me as I fall, as I weep, as I moan, and as I cry incessantly. I no longer fear the fall as the floor of what I knew disappears beneath me. I let the shock move through me so that I can feel sadness, anger, pain, gratitude, numbness – not necessarily in that order; and it does repeat.
Through it all is the blanket, the robe, the deep hug of the Compassionate and Gracious Source of Life. It does not demand that I do something with my hair, put on some lipstick, or – more importantly – that I “get over it.” It squeezes me such that I know that I’m still part of life. It seeds stories into my dreams of Zusiyah, Solomon’s Ring, Ruth and Naomi, D’vorah… memories of being in Aunt Edna’s kitchen, standing on a foot stool and stirring something that I know will be delicious… bathing with my sister, Sandra, in her oh so big kitchen sink with adult laughter as background as we splash and sing.
The counsel of Mothers appear with physical and spiritual medicines. The counsel of Fathers appear with physical and spiritual medicines. Each counsel gives appreciation for the journey and assurance that I’ll be okay. Soon, colors reappear in my dreams and smiles from family, friends, neighbors, strangers…
All of the above is the Compassionate and Gracious Source of Life holding me to life and through life as I gain new strengths and a deepened appreciation as to what it takes to be with Life, no matter what!
© Sabrina Sojourner 2020