Counting Omer 5780, Day 38:
Elevated Beauty, Balance, Integration, the Unexpected, Miracles, and Order, intersecting Khesed and Gevurah within Foundation, Establishment, Essential; the Cosmological and Mystical Foundation upon which the Divine One created the universe.
Quality: Embracing struggle and ease as natural occurrences
לִמְנוֹת יָמֵינוּ כֵּן הוֹדַע וְנָבִא לְבַב חָכְמָה
Teach us to number our days, such that we acquire a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90.12
I live with grief. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of my Mom, my Dad, Linda, Steven, Stan, Elijah, Cokie, John, Jennie, Juanita, Robert… I live with these aches gladly because each causes me to be with what is missing and be present to beauty, sweetness, kindness, compassion, hugs, smiles, pats on the back, waves… all kinds of amazing nature… even on the coldest, dreariest of winter days and the harshest moments of summer and everything in between.
Even in this pandemic, life is full. Spending so much time alone, I am cuddling with the difficult and the sweet. Things happen. Hard things happen. Amazing things happen. It’s all part of being alive. Embracing what is so, moves me into relationship with the not-so-good and the great and the blessed ordinary in between.
What I know to be true now is that I am doing what I can to make my days count and worrying less about counting my days. I am happy not to have all the answers and it’s fun to still be making it up as I go. I’m living struggle and ease as natural occurrences.
© Sabrina Sojourner 2020